Today in church we talked a little bit about the Israelites coming out of Egypt, and how when faced with a trial, right away they wanted to go back to the life that just a little bit ago they wanted so badly to be out of.
That. sounds. crazy.
I mean wouldn't anything be better than being in captivity your whole life? One obstacle and you want to go back... really?
but after REALLY think about it...
I can't blame them.
Because I so often do the same thing. This might not be something that everyone sees,
or that's announced, or something that's recorded in the Bible for goodness sake...
but the same issue is still there.
I still constantly fall back to the familiar, even if I very well know it's not what's best for me, which I usually do. I look forward and I'm scared. I can't see past the fog of today to see what comes next...
it's completely unknown.
an absolute mystery.
and I am blind.
So when I finally step forward, out of the familiar darkness I've hid in for so long... the world looks different. This isn't what I've known. I'm being pushed out of my safety bubble.
This is uncomfortable.
and I don't like it.
I need familiarity in this change, but when I find that everything is different,
and that even though I know this is better...
even though I know this is right...
I see the mountains ahead of me that have become clearer in the light, and just like the Israelites...
I want to go back.
I want to hide.
find my oh so familiar corner,
sit there,
and hold onto my darkness,
where there is nothing good.
but I've learned, when that's what I so badly want...
I have to choose to stay.
I have to keep my feet firm on my Foundation, when they beg me to run back.
I have to keep my eyes focused on Him, when they yearn to look once again into the dark abyss of sin.
I have to trust the One who knows better, when I yearn for control.
I have to keep pushing forward when all I want to do is hide.
I know,
and am constantly learning
that sometimes...
it's okay to be uncomfortable.
No comments:
Post a Comment