Committed.

When I was in Houston, Texas for a week long Mission Year training, Leroy Barber, while speaking on diversity, explained the difference between "value" and "commitment."

The idea has resonated deeply with me recently.

To value something is to believe that it's important, to see it's usefulness, and to hold it in high opinion.

To commit to something is to make a decision that you won't continue without it, to be dedicated to it's cause, and to be actively working towards it.

There's a big difference in what the two look like.

I've been thinking a lot about what this looks like in my own life...

For all of my life I have valued God and living a Godly lifestyle. I grew up knowing it was important. In my mind it was always one of the most important things in life. But I was never consistent.

I swerved in and out of living in right communion with God. I would pursue it for a time, but would quickly revert back to my old nature when things got hard. My lifestyle and what I was pursuing didn't always line up with what I valued.

I would hold God highly, and when I felt like it, would walk in step with Him, but I wouldn't give Him all, because if I fully committed, I knew I couldn't jump right back into my sinful nature whenever I wanted to.

My heart was divided...

I struggle with commitment. I always have.

But something changed in me within this last year that I've continued to let stir inside of me.

I made a choice.
A choice to commit.

"But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely."
                                                       - Galatians 5:22-23 (The Message)

In the last couple weeks, I've found where the hard work of commitment comes in.
And I realized how little I truly committed to God throughout a lot of my life.

I've always valued God, but commitment is work...
A lot of hard work.

These passed couple weeks I've sat in the tension of learning what the messy parts of commitment look like.

The place where simply valuing isn't enough anymore.

I'm still trying to get a hang of this commitment thing.
I'm learning how to stick with it through the tension and the mess.

I'm not good at commitment. I may never be. But thankfully, I serve a God that holds more grace than I can ever truly comprehend and could ever come close to deserving.

I think, I can confidently say now...
That to God, I am committed.

I will live my life, to the best I can, to work towards His Kingdom and beauty in the world.
I will be wholly dedicated.
I will not settle for living without inviting Him to be present in every moment.
I will not give up. No matter the work. No matter the mess.

I am here. And I am committed.

...

Do you simply value God or are you committed?

His Name Is Love

“I think that’s what our world is desperately in need of – lovers, people who are building deep, genuine relationships with fellow strugglers along the way, and who actually know the faces of the people behind the issues they are concerned about.”
                                      ― Shane Claiborne, The Irresistible Revolution

We are called to be lovers.

Simple as that.

Lovers learning more and more about Love, Himself, so that we can become as He is and be able to love more fully. If we are pursuing a lifestyle of God, we are pursuing a lifestyle of love. If I am asking God to be present, love must be present.

How do they so often get separated in the mix of things?
How do we so easily forget?

Sometimes we get too caught up in the routines of life, sometimes we get too caught up in the rules, sometimes we get too caught up in morals and right and wrong and what we should do.

But what we should do, above all, is love.

Love is close.
Love means to know.

Yet we so often stay distant.

We throw money into cans of college students raising money for some distant cause, yet we won't look down into the faces of the people right in front of us.

When you think of the causes you support, do you see their faces?
Do you know their faces? Do you know their names?

Love is hard.

It requires you to step down. It requires you to humble yourself.
It requires A LOT of work. To keep loving no matter what.

As hard as it is, it is what we are called to.

I often think that if our goal, in everything that we did, was simply to love, the world would change.

When we truly start to love enough to know their faces, everything will change.

You will change.
They will change.
And the world will change one relationship at a time.

I truly believe that.

Love.
That is our mission.

Love.
That is our call.

Love.
That is His name.

And if that's who He is, it's who I want to be as well.

My God?
His name is Love.

Do you know His face?

Where I Stand.

Philadelphia is beautiful in so many ways, and as I live life in the middle of it all it starts to change my perspective on so many things...

"Where you stand determines what you see." – Kathy Kelly

A lot of times, the only thing that people know of my neighborhood is what the news and media present. My team has heard the warnings and gotten the surprised faces, but I stand in a different place. I live in Hunting Park. When I think of Hunting Park, I think of Catalina and George and Rosa. I think of the young girls that sit on our porch and laugh and draw and paint fingernails together. I think of the kids using our chalk on the sidewalks. I think of all the generosity we've received and the meals we've shared. Hunting Park is home.

When we talk about passive and active racism and other race issues, being on the privileged side of things, as a White person, it can sometimes be easy to ignore the race issues all around. But not from where I stand. From where I stand, it affects my neighbors, it affects my neighborhood, it affects my city... I am now a part of something bigger, and so it affects me too. So I work towards a better understanding, and I work towards reconciliation and justice.

Silence is sometimes scary and uncomfortable; sometimes we don't know what to do with it, but going on a solitude retreat and staying silent stood me in a different place. Silence gives everything a little more meaning. The stars shine a little bit brighter. The leaves and colors dance a little bit lighter. And God meets you there if you seek Him out, and you learn to embrace the silence. Embrace the solitude.

People walk above the homeless as if they are no longer human. It often seems like there's no common ground. But not from where I stand. How often do you come with nothing but yourself? When you sit down and offer up an ear. When you look someone in the eye. When you laugh. I see God's face in the laugh lines around her brightened eyes. I see God's face in Bibi. And we are all human breathing the same air.

I'm learning what it looks like when "them" becomes "us," and we're not so different that we have to keep ourselves separate.

"Where you stand determines what you see."

And I am standing in Philadelphia. Standing in Hunting Park. Standing on the poverty line. Standing with my neighbors. Standing with the homeless. Standing with the oppressed. Standing in the silence. And the thing I see above all is the face of God.

I thank God for starting to change and shape my perspective and pray that he continues to stand me right where he wants me, amidst all of the tension and all of the beauty, in order to see his beautiful face.

So you can tell me what you've heard; you can tell me what you know, but until you allow yourself to stand in the middle of it all you will never see the beauty that's there.
 
Don't be afraid to stand in a different place. Perspective is everything.

Inspiration

"People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
                                                       Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
                                                       Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
                                                        Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.
                                                       Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
                                                        Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
                                                        Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
                                                        Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
                                                        Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
                             It was never between you and them anyway."

                                                                                                    -Mother Teresa